Gift giving during the holidays is a wonderful tradition that unites families and friends. When we give in the right spirit, we remember that giving can be even more joyous than receiving. So why do we feel so much stress this time of year?
One reason could be that we focus too much on trying to meet everyone’s expectations rather than giving from the heart. Of course, we want people to be pleased with what they receive, but where’s the fun in simply asking what they want and buying it? That makes you more of a personal shopper than a gift giver.
Giving can be a lot more meaningful and enjoyable when you think of yourself as a detective instead of an order taker. If you pay attention over time, you could probably come up with excellent gift ideas your loved ones wouldn’t have thought to ask for.
The Joy of Unexpected Gifts
One of the most memorable gifts I’ve ever received was a nose hair trimmer from my brother when I was in college. I didn’t even know what it was, so I never would have asked for it. Thank goodness he noticed I needed one. Who knows whether Andrea would have agreed to marry me if I hadn’t started using it before we met!
A nose hair trimmer may not be the best gift for everyone. My point is that your observation, creativity, and perhaps a little bravado can dramatically enhance the impact of your giving.
What do you give someone who doesn’t need anything and can buy whatever they want? My daughter is a pro at this. For my birthday in November, she surprised me with the piano sheet music for A Charlie Brown Christmas, one of our family’s favorite albums. I could have bought it myself, but it never crossed my mind, so I was delighted.
Later that evening, Andrea entered an address into my GPS and told me to start driving. I had no idea where we were headed. We ended up at a hole-in-the-wall jazz club we had been wanting to try for a while. It was fabulous—some of the best live music I’ve ever heard.
These thoughtful gifts from my wife and daughter made me feel loved. It was a lot more fun than unwrapping a sweater I had picked out myself.
Don’t get me wrong—gifts like these can be risky. The recipient may not always appreciate them as much as we hope. When you can’t take that risk, gift cards can be a safe alternative. But when your gifts are thoughtful and specific, they have a greater chance of strengthening your relationship.
The Joy of Anonymous Giving
Some of our most meaningful giving may be directed toward others in the community whose needs are greater than our own. I have deep respect for people who give to those in need, especially during the holidays, because I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that generosity.
When I was growing up, we often didn’t know if we would receive any presents on Christmas morning because my parents couldn’t afford them. I can’t express the excitement and relief we felt when the doorbell rang on Christmas Eve and we found a big box of wrapped gifts with our names on them.
This happened several times during my childhood, but we never discovered who was behind it. I hope those angels experienced even more joy giving those presents than we did receiving them. I made the mistake of sharing this story with my kids when they were young. They responded, “Yeah, but didn’t you still get gifts from Santa?”
Whatever you choose to give this holiday season, and whatever you receive, I hope you find joy in the process. Also, remember that the best gifts often don’t cost anything. The gift of your time, a listening ear, a thank-you note, or a warm smile in the right moment might improve someone’s life more than anything you could buy.
