From ages 19 to 21, I served a volunteer church mission in Buenos Aires, Argentina. During the final six months of my mission, I had the privilege of working closely with our mission leaders, David and Louise Udall. They were responsible for the direction and well-being of more than 200 missionaries in the area.
David was the founder of a large, prominent law firm in Arizona and served in numerous high-profile, time-consuming church and civic roles. He and Louise raised six successful children and were still deeply in love, even after 40 years of marriage. Their example left a lasting impact on me and I wanted to grow up to be like them in many ways.
After returning to the United States for college, I only saw the Udalls once or twice, but I often thought of them and reflected on the lessons they taught me. About 20 years later they invited me over for dinner when I happened to be in their area for a business trip. At the time, I was struggling to balance my busy work, family, church, and other responsibilities, so I eagerly looked forward to hearing how they managed everything.
That evening was filled with laughter, tears, and memories of our time together in Argentina. The Udalls generously shared their wisdom and encouragement in response to all my questions. As I hugged Louise goodbye, she whispered in my ear, “Thank you for asking David’s advice. No one asks him for advice anymore.”
I was stunned. David is one of my greatest heroes and among the most successful people I know, not just financially, but in every meaningful way. Had he really become that overlooked? How could simply asking him for a bit of advice add to the stature of such a remarkable man?
That moment taught me a powerful lesson. No matter how much we have accomplished, no matter what positions we have held, we all want to feel relevant and valued by others throughout our lives. We want to know that we still matter.
A Difficult Adjustment
Have you ever wondered how you might feel if no one asked for your opinion after you retired?
For business owners and executives who’ve been calling the shots and offering guidance for decades, retirement can be an especially difficult adjustment.
Consider Angela, the dynamic and driven president of a large hotel with thousands of employees. Her husband, Kurt, recently retired from his own demanding career and now enjoys a more leisurely pace. One day, Kurt quipped that he’s worried how much less relaxing his life might be once Angela retires, since she’ll have no one left to boss around but him.
We all laughed, but the truth is no laughing matter. I’ve seen people unintentionally make life difficult for their loved ones after retiring, simply because they didn’t build a new sense of purpose. Without meaningful engagement, many retirees face loneliness, depression, strained relationships—even suicidal thoughts. After years in high-profile roles, they deeply miss the fulfillment that comes from challenging themselves and influencing others.
For Angela’s sake—and for Kurt’s—I hope she finds new avenues to share her extensive expertise after retirement. Imagine the lessons we could all glean from someone who led one of the nation’s most successful hotels. Her insights on leadership, hospitality, and so much more could be invaluable.
It’s Not About Ego
Finding ways to stay relevant throughout your retirement isn’t just about inflating your ego. When you continue contributing to the world around you, everyone benefits. Regardless of your age or stage of life, you still hold knowledge and experiences that can profoundly enrich others.
That night with the Udalls, I wasn’t asking questions just to cheer them up. I genuinely wanted to learn from their lifetime of wisdom. In the end, I came away with far more than I gave, but their willingness to teach me also lifted them.
Far too many people take their hard-won knowledge to the grave. Don’t be one of them.
So, what specialized knowledge do you have that could help someone else? And how will you continue making a difference throughout your life, both for your sake and the sake of others?
